Title? What title?
by Temperance
Summary: SLASH. Ryan decides it's time to tell Marissa he's gay and he and Seth get some smoochies. I wrote this per Raven's request hugs Raven. COMPLETE


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Disclaimer: I don't own these tasty little characters I'm just making them do what I want and I'm not giving them back when I'm done.

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Rating: Um **PG-13** I think that would be it, not good with the ratings.

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Author's note: I made this for **Raven** who asked: Could someone please write a fic about Ryan/Seth coming out. The fic must include the two coming out to someone (Seth's parents, Marissa, the kids at school, etc.) and can be any rating (but I'd be extra happy if it had some nice make-out and/or smut scenes).

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Ryan lies on his back on the bed in the pool house looking up at the ceiling when Seth comes in and plops down onto the bed next to him. Seth bounces on the bed a couple of times before settling. He leans over Ryan and smiles down at him. Ryan doesn't say anything or move at all, he only continues to stare up at the ceiling. 

Seth lies down on the bed next to Ryan so their heads are touching and stares up at the ceiling with him. Seth's quiet for a record-breaking two seconds before he sighs heavily.

"What are we looking at?" Seth asks turning his head towards Ryan.

"I'm looking at the ceiling," Ryan says putting an extra emphasis on the first word.

"What's so interesting on the ceiling?" Seth asks turning to look at Ryan.

Ryan looks at Seth from the corner of his eyes. "I'm thinking," he tells him.

"Oh," Seth says.

Seth folds his over his chest and turns his head to look back up at the ceiling. He sighs again, only this time quieter, and begins to drum his fingers. Ryan knows this is the most difficult thing for Seth to do, sit in one spot and not say a word. It's like torture for him. But Seth knows Ryan better than anyone else and Seth knows that right now Ryan needs some quiet time.

Seth clears his throat and advances from drumming his fingers to pounding out a beat on his chest.

"Okay," Ryan sighs.

He pushes himself off of the bed and stands up in front of it. Seth jumps off of the bed and looks at Ryan eagerly.

"You wanna play on the playstation or something? We could play _Silent Hill 3_, except that it's a one-player game. Well, you can play and I can watch. It's brand new, just came out, so you'd be the first person to play it. Wanna play?" Seth looks over at Ryan expectantly.

Ryan crooks the corner of his mouth into a wry smile. "You play," he tells Seth, "I'll watch."

Seth beams at him and Ryan turns and walks out of the pool house with Seth in tow. He trudges across the lawn and into the house. Seth bounces past him when he stops at the fridge to grab a Pepsi. When Ryan walks into the front room, Pepsi in hand, and Seth has already started up the playstation and is sitting on the ground in front of the tv as the game loads.

"This one is supposed to be better than the other two, you know, better graphics and story line. It won't be too hard to have a better story line than the second game because it was pretty lame. Some of the graphics in the second game were pretty cool but mostly they were just weak. Although the first game was awesome." Seth stops talking and his eyes light up as the back-story begins to play out for the game.

Ryan sits on the couch and watches Seth. Ryan smiles softly to himself in awe of how Seth could get so excited about such a small thing as a new video game. His eyes sparkle and he looks like Christmas came early. It was this boundless innocence that attracted Ryan to him in the first place.

Seth turns around and flashes his broad boyish smile at him and Ryan can feel his cheeks begin to burn but Seth turns back to the tv and Ryan knows that in a short while Seth won't even remember that Ryan is in the room. But Ryan will just be content to watch Seth conquer his new game and knowing Seth he'll probably finish it by tomorrow afternoon. 

Seth begins pressing buttons on the controller and playing his game while Ryan watches from the couch leisurely sipping from his pop can and eagerly anticipating an entire day watching _his _Seth kick some zombie ass. That is until Sandy Cohen comes walking into the front room and the look on his face says that their day full of doing nothing is about to be full of something tedious and boring.

"What are you two doing?" Sandy asks them.

"Playing _Silent Hill 3_," Seth says not taking his eyes off of the screen.

"No, no, no," Sandy says stepping in front of the tv. Seth sighs and pauses the game automatically. "You two are sentenced to a day of hard labor today. The attic awaits you two; it needs to be straightened out."

Seth laughs and Ryan darts his eyes in his direction. This is not the appropriate thing to do when a parent gives you a chore and Ryan can see nothing funny about this.

When Sandy doesn't crack Seth's smile fades.

"That's a joke, right?" Seth asks, "I mean, why would we be cleaning the attic. I don't want to sound stuck up or anything but what is Rosa here for?"

"Rosa," Sandy says letting a smile ooze across his face, "has the day off and your mother thinks it's a good job for you two. And I happen to agree."

Seth looks up at his father, mouth agape, a look of disgust carving his delicate features, and he glares his eyes at his father.

"You want us to clean the attic," Seth asks exasperated, "on a Saturday afternoon? Why didn't you say anything to us before it became mid day?"

Seth stands up and throws his arms in the air letting them come to rest on his hips. Sandy clasps his hands in front of him and turns to directly face his son.

"Mid day is the perfect time to start the project. You can't say you're still tired and it's not too late to still get a jump on things." Seth scoffs, throws his head back pitifully, and Sandy's hard gaze softens. "All you two have to do is go through some of the old boxes you made us keep full of your stuff and throw away the things you no longer want. And you better no longer want a lot of that crap."

Sandy smiles at them before walking out of the room and out of view. Ryan looks over at Seth who kicks at the floor angrily before turning off the playstaion and putting it away.

"Where's the attic?" Ryan asks.

"You've never been to the attic, huh?" Seth says.

Ryan shakes his head slightly and Seth smiles at him. Seth waves his hand in the follow me sense and heads towards the stairs. Ryan raises from the couch and follows Seth up two flights of stairs and into a door then up a third flight of stairs to another door. Seth stops in front of the closed wooden door at the top of the stairs and turns to face Ryan.

"Don't move stuff around too quickly or we'll die from dust inhalation," Seth says looking dead serious. 

Seth twirls back around to face the door and turns the knob swinging the door open wide. They both step inside and Ryan sees that it's not covered in dust as Seth described it. It is cluttered with things; old furniture covered in drop cloths, and boxes but the room itself looks as if it got dusted at least once a week. Ryan walks further into the room looking at the boxes and old furniture. There are old tables and couches and shelves and some of them look nicer than the crap at his mum's house.

"My boxes are over here in this corner," Seth says pointing to a massive heap of boxes to the far left.

"How are you going to find 'your' boxes?" Ryan asks walking over to where Seth is already standing in front of the boxes.

"They are all 'my' boxes." Seth explains. "Everyone got their own section and the boxes get stacked there. I got this corner and everything I want to keep gets put into boxes and put up here. That and they all say my name." Seth reaches out and touches the thick black letters on the closest box that spell out his name.

"Wow," Ryan says looking at the mountain of boxes in front of them. "You must never throw anything away."

"I like to hold on to the memories," Seth says, "take this box for instance." Seth pulls open the box in front of them and reaches inside, he pulls out an old looking magazine. "Ahh... this little trinket."

Ryan half coughs half laughs as Seth begins flipping through it looking nostalgic. Seth opens the magazine to a page somewhere in the middle and holds it up for Ryan to see. There is an advertisement on the one page and an article about how to apply just the right amount of white eyeliner on the other. Ryan raises his eyebrows and Seth sighs pointing to the ad with a young brown haired girl smiling.

"It's Summer," Seth sighs.

Ryan rolls his eyes and turns his head away while Seth clutches the magazine picture to his chest. Summer. How could he forget that Seth had such a huge thing for Summer? Seth's crush apparently went back farther than Ryan had imagined, she looked about twelve in that picture. Summer, Ryan didn't like her, and not just because she was a complete bitch to Seth, although that was a big part of it. And not just because she thought she was better than everyone else in the world, although that was part of it also. He disliked her with a passion because Seth liked her so much. _His_ Seth liked her. She was a bitch to Seth and didn't give Seth the time of day but Seth still adored her even though Ryan was right there, always at his side, and was never mean to him. Although Ryan couldn't tell Seth how much he liked him, he couldn't tell Seth how much he wanted him. 

Ryan had thought some time away from Seth might stop him from wanting him so badly but it had only gotten worse. He got a job, made a new friend in Donnie, and started hanging out with him. But Seth had gotten jealous, which made Ryan secretly giddy that Seth missed him so much, and had tried to become friends with Donnie, which had made Ryan jealous. Ryan made sure that where ever Seth went with Donnie he was there, or there were other people who weren't going to let Donnie take advantage of _his_ Seth. 

Ryan had even tried to date Marissa, but that turned out lousy. She is way too high strung for him and she can't make up her mind between him and Luke so why should he waist his time on her? He had never been more happy to hear Seth's voice than when he called to interrupt him and Marissa from kissing. He had thought it was too obvious that he agreed to go and get Seth without much of a fight but if anyone had noticed no one had said anything. 

Then the entire badness of that night had happened what with Luke getting shot and all. Ryan had just been so happy that it wasn't Seth, he had to stare at Luke for a moment just to make sure his brain wasn't playing a trick on him. In a way he was glad it had all happened because then Seth had told him that his life had gotten better since Ryan had arrived. Ryan had wanted to kiss him right there. He went all tingly and he wanted to smile and blush and ravage the beautiful boy sitting next to him.

But he hadn't. He had gone on talking as if it meant nothing, as if the fact that Seth was happy he was still there was a minor detail in the grand scheme of things. 

Seth pulls the magazine away from his chest and gazes lovingly at the picture.

"Okay," Ryan says ripping the magazine out of Seth's hands and tossing it behind him, "what else is in there?"

Seth looks off after the magazine with his mouth hanging open but doesn't go after it. Instead he reaches into the box and pulls out a worn looking piece of peach colored silk cloth.

"This was part of Summer's dress for the junior high flamingo dance," Seth says.

Seth holds the cloth up for inspection and Ryan furrows his eyebrows.

"How the hell did you get that?" Ryan asks not really sure he wants to hear the answer as visions of black sweater clad Seth slinking into Summer's window at night and cutting a piece off of her dress fill his mind.

"She ripped her dress getting into her limo to go to Holly's after party and I picked it up," Seth says shrugging his shoulders.

"Ugh," Ryan groans. Ryan grabs the cloth out of Seth's hands and throws it the way of the magazine. "Don't you have anything in here that doesn't have something to do with Summer or are your boxes a shrine to her?" Ryan asks beginning to paw through the box beside Seth.

"Okay," Seth says leaning lightly against the tower of boxes behind him, "firstly; it's not a shrine I just happen to have a lot of things that just happen to tie into Summer and secondly; well... I don't have a secondly."

"What about this?" Ryan asks holding up an empty bottle of cologne.

Seth blushes a deep red and looks bashfully at the floor. Ryan examines the bottle more closely. It's not expensive like the kinds Seth and his dad wear, it's just a bottle of [i]Stetson[/i] for men but it would still run you out forty bucks, which is expensive if you don't have any money. Why would Seth keep an empty bottle of cologne for anyway?

"What does it have to do with Summer? She can't possibly like this brand, it's too cheap for her, I mean it's priced under a hundred dollars." Ryan says.

Seth reaches out and grabs the bottle from Ryan and sets it back in the box. Seth closes the box quickly, walks over to the nearest couch and sits down. Seth plops down heavily on the couch but the hilarious cloud of dust that always rises in the movies when other people huff about in their attic doesn't poof up around him. Ryan can tell that Seth's angry with something he's said or done.

Ryan sighs and walks over to sit next to Seth. He doesn't try and console him in anyway, that's not his thing, and he wouldn't know how to do it anyway.

"I'm sorry," Ryan says after awhile.

He doesn't know what else to do or say. He doesn't know what he did wrong.

"It's nothing," Seth says.

Seth moves to get off of the couch but Ryan grabs hold of his hand and Seth stops his movement. Ryan moves his free hand up to Seth's chin and he turns Seth's head so he can look into his eyes.

"I'm sorry," Ryan says again, "for whatever I did, or said, that made you upset."

Seth nods slowly never taking his eyes off of Ryan's. Ryan wants to look away from Seth's gaze, it bores into him and makes him feel vulnerable. Like Seth can see straight into his soul and lay all of his secrets bare. Ryan lets his hand fall away from Seth's face. Seth smiles at him and Ryan feels the tension between them melt away.

"Are we good now?" Ryan asks him with a light hearted smile. "'Cause you know we've got to stick together."

Seth opens his mouth to say something but decides against it and shuts it quickly turning away from Ryan. Ryan can feel the pulse from Seth's wrist thumping under his hand and looks down to see that he's still holding his wrist and a part of him doesn't want to let go.

"We should get back to cleaning," Seth says not turning to look at Ryan.

"Kay," Ryan says with more sadness in his voice than he would have liked.

Seth turns and fixes Ryan with his penetrating eyes again and Ryan squirms under their pressure. Ryan is just about to ask why Seth is looking at him like that when Seth's lips descend upon his. Seth's lips graze Ryan's in a quick, tentative kiss, before pulling away and looking at Ryan with wide frightened eyes.

Ryan is too shocked to speak but Seth can never be so he takes over, rambling enough for both of them.

"Sorry. I'm... I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't have, you know. I mean you have this whole thing with Marissa and I have this insane crush on Summer but I just wanted to, you know, with you and I didn't think, well maybe I did, but it was wrong and I'm sorry..."

Seth's ramble is cut short when Ryan kisses him. He places a hand behind Seth's head and presses their lips firmly together. Seth moves his lips cautiously against Ryan's at first but when Ryan's tongue sweeps across his lips he eagerly parts them allowing Ryan access to his mouth. 

Seth wraps his arms around Ryan's back and Ryan moves his hand from Seth's wrist to his thigh moving it slowly upwards and inwards until Seth pulls away from their kiss and looks at Ryan questioningly. 

"Sorry," Ryan says automatically retracting his hands and holding them in the air. "Was that too much?"

"No, um, no." Seth stutters. "I just, wasn't ready... but I am now."

Seth blushes slightly and Ryan reaches his arms around Seth's waist pulling him closer. They come together in a hot, sloppy, fervent kiss that's all tongue and clacking teeth. Seth's hands resume their tender almost ticklish exploration of Ryan's back while Ryan slips his hands under the bottom of Seth's shirt. Ryan runs his hands over Seth's hot skin memorizing each muscle, every inch of Seth's skin, with his fingertips.

Seth takes the lead in their duel of tongues and delves his tongue into Ryan's mouth. Ryan brings his hand around from Seth's back to his front to tweak his nipple and Seth gasps and pulls away again, this time off balancing himself falling back on the couch and out of Ryan's grasp.

Ryan half smiles down at him and moves to cover Seth with his own body when the door to the attic swings open and Kirsten Cohen, Seth's mum, comes walking in. She smiles at them, not noticing their panting, or disheveled hair, swollen lips, or flushed skin.

"Ryan, Marissa is at the door for you," Kirsten says.

"I'm, we're supposed to be cleaning out the attic," Ryan tells her casting sly glances in Seth's direction.

Seth, who sat bolt upright the moment the door even creaked a little, sits oddly quiet with glazed eyes and Ryan has to stifle a laugh.

"Well, it's Seth's stuff. It's not fair to make you suffer because Seth can't throw anything out." Kirsten says teasingly.

She gets no reaction from either Ryan or Seth and nods before turning and walking back out the door. Ryan looks over at Seth.

"Go," Seth says in an oddly emotionless voice, "I'll be fine here."

Seth jumps up off of the couch and walks back over to the boxes. Ryan follows him with his eyes but gets up and walks out of the room and down stairs to the front door. He opens the door and Marissa does indeed stand there, glowing with happiness.

"Hey," she says.

"Hey," Ryan responds.

"So..."

"So..." they both say at the same time and then laugh.

"I came by to see if you wanted to do something," Marissa says, "something like a date."

Ryan's smile drops immediately and he looks around quickly before stepping out onto the porch and closing the door behind him. Marissa looks wary and cocks an eyebrow at him.

"Marissa," Ryan says sighing and looking at the ground, "I really like you."

"I really like you too," Marissa says with a smile.

Ryan smiles warily at her before continuing.

"I really like you as a friend." Ryan finishes and Marissa's mouth drops open.

"As a friend?" Marissa mimics.

"Yes," Ryan says.

"Did I do something wrong? I mean, was I, am I not, is there something wrong with me?" Marissa asks with tears already brimming in her eyes.

Ryan shakes his head and she scoffs. He doesn't want to have to admit his secret, he doesn't want to have to tell Marissa why he can't like her like she wants him to. But he can't hurt her by lying to her, not while everything with her dad is so bad, not while she's so fragile. But which would really hurt her more? The truth or a lie?

"I," Ryan says and quickly decides that the truth is the best place to go, "I'm gay."

Marissa's face goes expressionless for a moment before it cracks into somewhere between mild amusement and utter outrage.

"You're gay," she deadpans. Ryan nods and she half laughs half scoffs. "Right, cause you look so gay."

Ryan shifts his eyes to the left and wonders when gay people started having to don a certain look.

"Well I'm getting my uniform on Thursday. Look Marissa," Ryan begins but she raises her hand to stop him from talking.

"You don't like me, fine, but don't make up lame ass stories just to try and 'spare' my feelings." She makes air quotes around the word spare and then stomps off after flicking her hair in Ryan's face.

Ryan stares after her with a very confused expression for a moment before wandering back inside and up into the attic where Seth is sitting on the sofa looking forlorn.

"Hey," Ryan says and Seth looks over to him.

"Hey," Seth says and his face lights up a little. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd be out with Marissa."

Ryan shrugs his shoulders and walks over to sit down next to Seth on the couch.

"We've go to stick together," Ryan says looking sideways at Seth, "can't have anyone else get shot."

Seth laughs and it lights up his face bringing back the youthful glow that Ryan loves about him. Ryan leans over and kisses Seth quickly on the lips. As Ryan pulls away Seth smiles at him and holds up the bottle of cologne.

"This," Seth says, "is the cologne that this boy in my fifth grade class used to wear. I had such a crush on him."

Ryan smiles and pulls Seth closer to him kissing him firmly on the lips. 

"I'm sure I have an empty bottle of cologne you can have for your box," Ryan says breaking the kiss and looking into Seth's eyes, "if you want it."

Seth nods smiling broadly and leans in to kiss Ryan again.


End file.
